So Much Yaoi, So Little Time
by Yoru no Kuronue
Summary: A series of yaoi one-shots, based on YOUR requests. Send one in a review and I'll write it. Fourteenth, Hidan and Naruto in Language of Love; Fifteenth, surprise pairing in On Uchihacest.
1. A Week After Valentine's Day

**Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue.**

**Yoru: Yellow!**

**Kuronue****:…****what?**

**Yoru: Hello with a y! But I didn't want the annoying red line under it, so I made it yellow!**

**Kuronue: Right. Okay. This series is ****more or less ****up to readers. The first is Yoru's deal, but after that you get more if you tell her what to write. Any ****YAOI ****pairing, any subject, whatever. Just go for it.**

**Yoru: I'm just cool like that.**

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Fir****st: Shikamaru**** x Kiba – A week after Valentine's Day**

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Kiba loathed Valentine's Day. The chocolate upset his stomach, the pink was too much for his eyes, and the girls' giggling never ceased on that day.

He was happy it was over, but would the leftovers never cease? The girls were still giggling over their silly little presents, still popping chocolates, still cooing over the boys.

However, he, Kiba, was not being cooed over. Why? Because his feelings on Valentine's Day were well known. He never gave anything and never received. Not even from Hinata. Not that he wanted anything from her, but from another particular individual.

Now he sat in a tree, watching the occasional girl walk by with an odd spring in her step. Was he jealous? Of course not, why would he…yes, yes he was. He wanted that spring, but his Inuzuka pride kept him from suddenly changing his mind on the subject of the materialistic Valentine's Day. Besides, his crush hated it just as much.

Then again, said crush only hated it because he was always mobbed by girls on that particular day. At least, that's what he said.

He sighed. Akamaru licked his hand, whimpering a little.

"Akamaru, you know I hate Valentine's Day, right?"

"Yip!"

"Okay, so why do I feel like crap because I never get anything?"

"Yip yap arf!"

"…are you serious? You think if I found a date it would help?"

"Yap!"

"No girl would go out with me, and if you're thinking of him, well…he's not interested in me that way, Aka, and you know it."

Akamaru was silent for a while, then his little brown eyes lit up.

"Yap yap arf woof yip!" He leaped from the tree before Kiba could stop him, and ran off down the street. Cursing, Kiba ran after him. Akamaru couldn't be serious…

"Akamaru! Come back now, you mutt!" Kiba shouted, ignoring the looks from people on the street. His dog ignored him, continuing to the doorstep of a particular house. Kiba put on a burst of speed and lunged for the dog (who dodged nimbly) just as the door opened.

"What the…"

He collided hard with the person who stepped out.

That wasn't all.

His lips had landed rather forcefully on the other's, resulting in an awkward kiss. As they froze, Kiba couldn't help thinking that Akamaru had planned all of this somehow. The other person pulled away first.

"Kiba, you better have a damn good reason for that, you troublesome mutt."

"Sorry, Shika, Akamaru ran away and I jumped for him but I landed on you and I'm sorry but we kissed and oh shit…" Kiba leaped up, face redder than Hinata's when she imagined Naruto in the shower. He stammered out another apology and ran, completely forgetting Akamaru until he got to the park and scaled another tree.

His dog leaped up beside him after a fashion and proceeded to tear him a new one regarding his escape.

"Akamaru, if I didn't love you I'd strangle you! You knew I'd end up on top of him, you knew I'd kiss him, you jerky mutt!"

"Yap yap arf woof yip!"

"You knew I was too shy to ask him out, much less kiss him, and you just made me do it anyway!"

"Arf yip!"

"Don't try to tell me that you had nothing to do with it, you absolute jerk!"

"Woof woof yip arf!"

"I don't care if he's coming up here, I…what?!?" Kiba looked down to see that Shikamaru was indeed almost up the tree.

_Oh, God, should I jump down and run?_

Too late. Shikamaru landed on his branch and grabbed his arm, pinning him against the trunk.

"Kiba, do not run away from me," he growled. Kiba gulped. He couldn't read Shikamaru's eyes; was that anger or lust or hate or what?

"Shikamaru…"

"Shut up."

_Yikes._

"I'm only going to say this once, you troublesome mutt, so listen good."

Kiba nodded, a bit frightened, and closed his eyes tightly.

He felt lips against his own, much more gently this time. Before the shock would wear off enough for him to reciprocate, Shikamaru pulled away.

"Happy belated Valentine's Day, mutt."

Akamaru, odd as it sounds for a dog, smirked.

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A/N: Please give me your requests! Remember, any yaoi pairing, any situation! Enjoy yourselves, and I'll enjoy the challenge! 


	2. What Really Lasts Forever

**Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue.**

**Yoru: This one is for ****hyperactiveice****, one of my ****fave**** reviewers from some other stories.**

**Kuronue: The prompt is nice and detailed…**

**Yoru: …while still giving me a lot to work with. ****Ice requested that the story be in ****Deidara's**** POV, and I shall make it happen. ****Sweetness and on with it!**

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Second: Sasori x Deidara – What Really Lasts ****Forever**

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Art is a bang and shouldn't last forever, I really don't care what Danna says. Even when he's kissing me and holding me so tight, I still know that he's wrong about at least one thing.

Hasn't stopped me before, of course. I still moan when he touches me just right and arch when he kisses my sensitive neck. Hell, I don't even care that he's mostly made of wood as long as he's mine.

"Deidara…" His voice melts me, soothes me, makes me feel like I'm never going to die or be hurt in any way.

Tonight I sit and wait for him. He had a solo mission, and was supposed to return today. I've missed his touches, missed his voice, and damn if I haven't missed our debates. He's only been gone a week, but I feel like it's been forever.

I can hear the strains of music down the hall. Probably Hidan's weird ritualistic crap again. Except it sounds more like real music, like when Okaa-san used to play the harp when she thought no one was listening. It was amazing when she did that. I always thought that since I loved the music like everyone else, I must not be such a freak after all.

Almost against my will, I stand and move to the music. My hand goes up, my feet come down, and suddenly my body has a will of its own. The beautiful music invades my every pore, takes me over like Sasori's strings.

I barely notice Sasori standing in the doorway, watching me. He seems transfixed for a moment, before slowly approaching and taking my hand. I draw him into my dance, pressing my back against his stomach and wrapping his arm around my waist. For a moment, my trance is broken as he awkwardly tries to fit into my rhythm, but I soon slip away again as he finds purchase and moves with me.

I'm not really sure how long we dance, or how long we stand there after the music stops. I'm relishing his touch as he gently kisses my neck, whispering how much he's missed me. I turn and catch his lips, stopping him mid-sweet-nothing.

We kiss for ages and yet only a moment. I'm not sure what the dance has done to us, but suddenly our hands can't leave each other for even a moment. We end up curled together on my bed, wrapped so securely around each other that not even a chakra-infused crowbar could pry us apart.

"Deidara, you know how I always say art lasts forever?"

"Yes, Sasori-danna. I always disagree."

"You know what also lasts forever?"

"Hmmm?"

"This."

He touches my chest, right above my heart. Next he touches his own.

"Our hearts?"

"Our love. Us. We last forever, because no matter what happens, I will always be there to dance with you."

I fall asleep in his arms shortly after that, but I'm sure I'm smiling.


	3. Soul Mate

**Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue.**

**Yoru: This one is for Jade Hitachiin.**

**Kuronue: Interesting pick. ****Very non-canon.**

**Yoru: (flexes fingers) Always a joy to write.**

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Third: Gaara x Sasuke – ****Soul Mate**_

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Pulse pounding_

_Heart skipping_

_Every other beat_

_You're staring_

_What are __you_

_Doing, move your feet!_

Gaara hated dance clubs with a passion.

He was only here because his idiot brother wanted to go clubbing and Temari wouldn't go with him. So he grabbed Gaara and out they went.

Kankarou was out on the floor somewhere, probably dancing with some cheap whore. Gaara snorted into his drink; what an idiot.

Suddenly, something – or someone – caught his eye.

_Nothing's gonna keep you_

_From getting what you want_

_Move those hips, those hands, that ass_

_Or the party never starts_

Gaara was oblivious to the music as he watched the dancers, or rather one in particular. A slim, raven-haired beauty with a majestic, almost crimson glare danced alone in the center, the other patrons giving him a wide berth. He spotted Kankarou out of the corner of his eye as his brother fell on the stool beside him.

"Wow, it's something out there."

"Kankarou, who is that?" Gaara pointed to the boy in the middle of the floor. Kankarou squinted, then shook his head.

"That's Uchiha Sasuke. Comes every weekend, never lets anyone dance with him. The rumor is, he's searching for a particular partner. Some say he's looking for his perfect one, others say it's just for his soul mate. Whatever the case, I guess they have to be able to dance."

Gaara was up and moving toward the floor almost before Kankarou was finished talking. His eyes were fixed on Sasuke, who ignored him completely, in fact turning his back. Gaara didn't hesitate; he grabbed the slim hips and began to move with Sasuke, not caring about the gasps and murmurs that arose around them.

He felt Sasuke turn and kept his eyes on his prize's, meeting glare for glare. Sasuke's eyes narrowed, but Gaara only leaned down and captured the rosy lips with his own. Those eyes shot open wide as Gaara used the shock to invade the cinnamon cavern.

Gaara was in ecstasy. He could ask for no more perfect moment than this. Tongue buried in Sasuke's mouth, one hand still gripping the hips, the other buried in soft raven hair. Already the other boy's hands were wrapped around his neck and his tongue was dancing with Gaara's even as their bodies moved as one.

Finally they pulled away from the kiss, both red and panting.

"Who are you?"

"Sabaku no Gaara."

"You clearly know me. How did you know I wouldn't push you away?"

"I just did."

They watched each other for a moment, their bodies no longer moving but still locked together. Gaara could have sworn that Sasuke was perfect in every way.

"Sasuke, what are you looking for?"

"What have you heard?"

"That you were looking for your perfect one, or your soul mate." Gaara leaned down and rested his head in the junction of Sasuke's neck and shoulder, feeling the boy's hand run into his hair gently.

"The truth is much more than that."

"Tell me." Gaara kissed the side of Sasuke's neck, relishing the taste of sugar under salty sweat.

"I was just looking for someone to love."

"May it be me?" Gaara pulled away from Sasuke's neck to rest his forehead against the other boy's.

"Of course."

_Love is in the air_

_Your heart is on the run_

_Keep the pulsing going strong_

_Dance like there's no morning sun_


	4. Blind Date

**Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue.**

**Yoru: This one is for Miyako-chan.**

**Kuronue: Cute request.**

**Yoru: Can do! Off we go!**** By the way, I'm writing this with Tobi as Tobi because I think his alter ego is nowhere near as fun to write.**

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Fourth: Deidara x Tobi – Blind Date**

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Deidara sat stiffly at the restaurant table, fiddling with his mesh top. He hadn't felt like dressing up, so he'd just pulled on his usual mesh top and black pants, leaving his cloak at home. He had, on a whim, left his hair down. It tumbled down his shoulders and back in golden waves, framing his pretty face perfectly.

He growled to himself. How had he let Konan trick him into this?

All he had done was mention, _mention_, in passing that he missed Sasori. Was that evidence to set him up on a blind date?

He sighed. He could just leave. If he didn't want this date, he could leave now before the other got here.

He knew why he didn't leave: he was lonely without Sasori. He wanted this date because he wanted _someone._

After a few more minutes of waiting, Deidara was gratified to see a handsome young man sit down across from him. He smiled slightly

The gratification ended when the other man opened his mouth.

"Deidara-sempai, you smiled at Tobi! Tobi must be a good boy!"

Stunned silence reigned for a good ten seconds.

"TOBI?!?"

"Yes! Konan-san asks Tobi to go on a date with Deidara-sempai, so of course Tobi says yes!" Tobi smiled hugely. Deidara stared at him.

His hair was different without his mask, somehow longer and less shaggy. His skin was pale, but not disturbingly so. His one remaining eye was coal black, beautifully matching his hair. Tobi was…gorgeous.

"Tobi was so happy to know Deidara-sempai was his date! Tobi even dressed up and brushed his hair. Then Tobi thought, Tobi should not wear his mask, for Deidara-sempai has not seen Tobi without it and maybe it will be more formal for the date." Tobi was still prattling on, oblivious to Deidara's scrutiny and growing annoyance.

"Konan asked you to go on a date with me, un?"

"Yes! And good boy that Tobi is, Tobi accepted!"

Deidara sighed, "Tobi, you do know I didn't ask for this, un."

"Tobi knows."

"Do you understand that if I had known that you were my date, I wouldn't have come?"

"Tobi understands."

"Then why did you accept, un?" Deidara snarled, snapping. Tobi hesitated, then shrugged.

"Because Tobi is in love with Deidara-sempai."

This time the silence stretched for what seemed like eternity. Deidara could not believe what Tobi had just confessed to him.

Love?

Could someone like Tobi love? Puppy love, maybe, but Deidara highly doubted that someone with the mind of a child could really, romantically love someone.

"Tobi, that's a big statement, un," Deidara said finally, surprising himself by the calm in his voice.

"Tobi knows it's true."

Deidara was silent again, and this time the waiter came by. Mechanically they ordered, and then all was quiet once more.

"Deidara-sempai doesn't believe Tobi?"

"No," Deidara said truthfully.

"Deidara-sempai thinks someone like Tobi cannot love like an adult?"

Deidara eyed Tobi. The kid…his partner was so perceptive. Maybe…

"Tobi loves Deidara-sempai," Tobi said firmly. Deidara finally sat back.

"How do you figure, un?"

"Deidara-sempai lights up Tobi's world. At first, Tobi thought it was just admiration, but soon Tobi realized how jealous he was of Sasori-san. When Tobi became Deidara-sempai's partner, Tobi found that he craved the time he spent with Deidara-sempai. Tobi wanted to be with Deidara-sempai always. That is how Tobi knows." Tobi smiled gently at Deidara, who only nodded.

"Does Deidara-sempai need proof?"

"Un…?"

Before Deidara could really respond, Tobi's lips were pressed to his, very gentle and sweet. Deidara blinked, but decided he didn't really mind.


	5. Come Have Ramen With Me

**Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue.**

**Yoru: This one is for Sakura Sango, another one of my ****fave**** reviewers.**

**Kuronue: Yay for non-canon pairings!**

**Yoru: My favorite kind. She didn't give me a situation, so I made one up. Enjoy!**

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Fifth: Shikamaru x Naruto – Come Have Ramen ****With**** Me**

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"Shikamaru, come have ramen with me!"

"No."

"Shikamaru, come have ramen with me!"

"No."

"Shikamaru, come have ramen with me!"

"I said no, you troublesome fox!" Shikamaru finally snapped without opening his eyes. He was lying on his favorite hill, enjoying a nice nap, when all of a sudden Naruto had come out of nowhere with a ramen invitation. He was greatly annoyed, even if he did like Naruto.

A lot.

A hell of a lot.

Except right now. Right now he did not like Naruto one little bit.

"Come on, Shika, you know you want to!" Naruto whined. Shikamaru decided to put the effort into opening one eye.

"No, I do not want to."

"Yes you do!"

"No I don't."

"Yes you do!"

"No, I DON'T, you brat." Shikamaru opened the other eye and glared at Naruto. Naruto, of course, chose that moment to enter adorable puppy-dog-eye mode.

"Shikaaaaaaa! Come get ramen with meeeeeeeee!"

"…Only if you're paying."

"Yaaaaaaaaay!"

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"We're on our first date, Shika!" Naruto teased as they walked along. Shikamaru turned his face away so as to hide his blush.

"Whatever, troublesome brat."

"Aw, you don't have to be so mean." Naruto pouted to show his point. Shikamaru rolled his eyes.

"Why? You're being ridiculous."

"If I were going to take you on a date, we wouldn't get ramen."

Realizing Naruto wasn't going to drop the subject, Shikamaru resigned himself to playing along.

"Really. Do tell where we would go."

"Well, the best cooking around would probably be Iruka-sensei's, so maybe I could get him to help me cook. Then I would take you to my place and we'd have a candlelit dinner. Once we were done, we'd go out on the town and to your hill, and we'd look at the stars until really late at night." Naruto trailed off, lost in thought.

Shikamaru stared at him. Who knew that Konoha's top troublemaker was such a romantic? Naruto came across as hyper, slightly thick, and cutely annoying. Never romantic.

"Naruto…"

"Shika, we're here."

Shikamaru looked up. This wasn't the ramen parlor…it was Naruto's house. His eyes widened in realization.

A tan hand wrapped around his own and pulled him inside.


	6. Young Pleasure

**Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue**

**Yoru: This is for ****NejixItachi****. Guess what pairing was asked for?**

**Kuronue: I wonder…**

**Yoru: ****Here ****ya**** go. It's a little dark.****

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Six: Itachi x Neji – ****Young Pleasure**

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Training had taken Neji into the far woods, several miles from Konoha. He was wandering now; not lost, but not completely sure which way Konoha was from there. He sensed someone nearby, but they made no noise and he couldn't tell from where they came.

"Byakugan," he whispered, activating his bloodline limit. Now he could see through the trees, still to find no one there.

"Damnit, where are you?" he growled to himself, knowing he was not paranoid. There was definitely someone there with him.

"Here."

Before Neji could react, he was slammed into a tree and flipped onto his back, hands above his head and held by a single strong hand. A knee dug into his stomach, winding him.

"You're out of your district, Hyuuga," came the voice again, and this time Neji could distinguish its lack of emotion. There was nothing in that voice, no amusement, no hatred, nothing. Neji caught his breath and looked up, and he paled.

There was no mistaking those eyes.

"U-Uchiha…"

Sharingan crimson stared back at him, though the face was not Sasuke's. Easily more beautiful, and definitely older…this was certainly Uchiha Itachi, Sasuke's older brother. Neji gulped – he knew he would not get out of this alive.

"I wonder how you could tell." Itachi's emotionless voice was laced with a hint of sarcasm, and Neji frowned. He kicked out, only to find his leg grabbed painfully by Itachi's free hand.

"Let me go," Neji snarled, struggling.

Itachi never answered.

His lips crashed onto Neji's, earning a startled cry. The smaller boy began fighting harder, especially when Itachi's hand left his leg to force his mouth open so that the tormentor's tongue could explore its new domain.

Neji's muffled protests and fierce struggles did nothing to deter his assailant. The hand left his jaw, but before he could bite down, Itachi's hand began exploring his body under his shirt. The calluses on Itachi's hand against Neji's bare skin felt so…good. Suddenly Neji was lost in a wonderland of feeling, and he couldn't seem to get away.

Itachi knew just where to pinch, where to stroke, where to just settle his hand for an instant. His hand mapped out Neji's body in a way that left Neji shaking. And his tongue was so talented, keeping Neji in the kiss without overdoing it.

Neji knew he needed to struggle. He knew this was bad, that it would hurt if he let it continue, but his young hormones wouldn't let up. Finally Neji managed to wrench his head away.

"Stop! Please!"

"You don't enjoy it?" Itachi's mouth had descended to his neck, nibbling and sucking. Neji fought to contain his moans.

"N-no…" he lied through his teeth.

"Your body tells me a different story." Itachi's hand brushed Neji's crotch, and the boy let out a gasp.

"S-stop…"

"Your mind is all that keeps you from letting go."

"Why are you doing this?" Neji asked finally, feeling like he was about to cry.

"I don't know."

Suddenly Neji was free. He fell to his knees, gasping as the pleasure slowly left his body. Itachi stood before him, silent and stony. Finally he spoke.

"One day, I will be free. And then, Hyuuga Neji, you can come with me."

And he was gone.


	7. Baby Boy

**Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue**

**Yoru: This one is for ****Rina-chan**

**Kuronue: If you don't like father/son incest, flee to the next story.**

**Yoru: ****Awww****Rina-chan****, you're no sicker than the rest of us that like ****incest ****yaoi. I personally am an Itachi x Sasuke fan, as well as ****Amiboshi**** x ****Suboshi**** who are twins (****Fushigi****Yuugi**

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Seven: Minato x Naruto – Baby Boy**

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Naruto slept, oblivious to the presence in his room. The semi-transparent man leaned against the wall, watching the young ninja.

_My baby boy is all grown up. __And into a beauty, really.__ I'__m a bit jealous. __I wish I could have been there while you grew. I regret every day what I had to do to save Konoha._

The man pushed himself off the wall, and silently approached his son.

_You don't even remember me. I'm hurt._ A small smile appeared on the ghost's face as he stroked his son's hair. The boy murmured in his sleep, an almost kitten-like sound.

_My beautiful boy.__ I wish I were still there. If I were, you'd know love. I know I condemned you to a life of hatred and cruelty, and for that I apologize sincerely. __My death was bad, yes, but you were the one who suffered._

Minato sighed as he continued to touch his son gently. Lifting Naruto's shirt, he stared at the brand on his belly.

_You don'__t deserve any of this._

"Gonna be Hokage…" Naruto said in his sleep, turning over. Minato smiled warmly.

_I know you are._

He leaned down and brushed his lips across his son's cheek, wanting more but knowing he shouldn't. His son had grown into a stunning young man – all golden hair, bright blue eyes, and bronzed skin. Minato laughed as he remembered himself at this age: awkward, gangly, exceedingly unattractive.

_I really am jealous of you, my son._

Minato stood and brushed his hand over Naruto's cheek one last time.

_It's probably better that I'm not here. The way I love you isn't the way I should. But who could resist?_

He stepped away, glancing at Naruto as he did.

_My baby boy isn'__t much of a __baby anymore._


	8. Un

**Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue**

**Yoru: This one is for ****himeofkawaisa****An interesting choice, to be sure.**

**Kuronue: ****Woot**** for another non-canon pairing!**

**Yoru: ****Aaaaand**** on to it!**

**Eighth: Deidara x Neji – ****Un**

Deidara didn't normally stray far enough from the Akatsuki hideout to warrant staying out longer than specified by the mission. And he never dropped his clay into a snowbank and lost it. He was damn lucky he hadn't dropped it in the lake a few feet from him.

He growled.

If Sasori-danna were here he'd never hear the end of it. And if Tobi were around, the masked ninja would be rooting around for it until he froze to death.

"Maybe that wouldn't be so bad, un," Deidara muttered as he rooted around himself. His hand was starting to turn an interesting color, and he pulled it out, glaring at it. The mouth was shut tight, trying not to get any colder.

"Don't move, Akatsuki."

Deidara, being Deidara, turned around.

To find himself face-to-face with a young boy.

A _stunning_ young boy. Pale skin accented by dark hair to his waist, lavender eyes so light they could almost be white. Deidara felt one of his hand-mouths lick its lips.

"I said don't move," the boy snarled, holding up his kunai. Deidara raised an eyebrow.

"What exactly do you plan to do with me, un?" he asked, in a voice conveying cocky annoyance. The boy frowned.

"Take you back to Konoha. You are under arrest."

"Am I now?"

"Do not joke with me." The boy stepped a little closer. Deidara smirked.

"I'm not joking. I'm not going with you, un." Before the boy had time to react, Deidara attacked, slamming the smaller form to the ground and easily restraining his wrists. He chuckled at the boy's struggles.

"Feisty, un."

"Get off of me!" The boy bucked and writhed, but Deidara had him well pinned. Forcing the boy's wrists above his head, Deidara used one free hand to find and pocket his would-be captor's weapons.

"Now, the question is what am I going to do with you, un?" he mused, ignoring the boy's fruitless fighting, "You're not a Jinchuuriki, so taking you home wouldn't do much good. I have no use for a prisoner…"

"Let me go!"

"No, un. All I can see is killing you." Deidara fished in his cloak and brought out a kunai. The boy's eyes widened, and he began to fight harder even as the sharp point touched his throat.

Deidara wavered. This was a senseless killing, a young boy who had overestimated himself. Besides that, he was gorgeous. Was this necessary?

"If you're going to do it, do it," the boy hissed, resigned. Deidara sighed, and then pulled the kunai away.

"No fun, un." He sat up, still holding the boy down, "But I really don't know what to do with you."

"You could get off."

"And then you would try to kill me, un." Deidara considered the boy below him. He really was beautiful. Sighing again, he slid off of him. The boy leaped to his feet, immediately assuming a fighting stance. Deidara pouted.

"Don't be like that, un."

"You just got finished holding a kunai to my throat. Excuse me for being a bit on edge." The boy moved further away, keeping his hands up.

"Look, if I'd wanted to kill you, I'd have done it when I had a kunai to your throat. Okay, un?" Deidara sighed for a third time as the boy ran at him. Sidestepping and grabbing the boy's wrist, he flipped him into the lake.

"Look, I'm freezing, un."

"You threw me into the lake! I need it more than you do!"

"I told you not to be like that…"

"I hate you," the boy hissed. Deidara sighed (again) as he watched the boy sit by the fire and try to dry. He was wrapped in Deidara's cloak, therefore leaving Deidara in mesh top and pants. The bomber wrapped his arms around himself, glaring at the boy next to him.

"I'm getting that back at some point, un."

"You get it back when I'm dry."

"Well, if we're going to be sitting here, tell me your name, un." Deidara scooted closer to the fire.

"Why?"

"Come on, un."

"…Neji. Who are you?" The boy also scooted closer, trying to ignore the fact that now Deidara was almost cuddling up against him.

"Deidara."

"Why do you say "un"?" Neji asked. Deidara could tell it had been bothering him.

"I don't know. Why, do you think it's cute, un?" He had been teasing, but he could have sworn he saw a blush.

"No. Nothing about you is cute. You're an S-class criminal."

"But I'm an insanely adorable S-class criminal, un." Deidara smirked as Neji's blush deepened. The red gave his lavender eyes a pretty contrast.

"You are not adorable."

"You are, un." The words slipped out. Neji's eyes widened slightly, and his lips parted in a look of shock. Deidara couldn't help himself; he took the plunge.

As his lips met Neji's, he knew that the boy wouldn't push him away.


	9. Sand Castles

**Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue**

**Yoru: This one is for Sara-****himexItachi****-****hime**

**Kuronue: Interesting pick in a very ecstatic review.**

**Yoru: I got ****glomped****! Yay! Here ****ya**** go!**

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Nine: Itachi x Gaara – Sand Castle****s**

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Gaara had never really liked building sand castles. For one thing, he could get the sand to do it for him. No work, no fun.

For another, they were useless as weapons.

For a third, people crushed them for no reason.

He glared up at the crusher of his current sand castle.

"Would you care to explain why you destroyed a perfectly good sand castle?" he asked scathingly. The handsome man before him shrugged.

"Would you care to explain why a grown man was building said sand castle?" he retorted. Gaara growled.

"Would you care to explain what you're doing here?" He stood and drew himself to his full height, which honestly was not considerable.

"You know why I am here, Subaku no Gaara."

"I suppose I do, Uchiha Itachi."

They stared at each other for a long time, the only sound the whistle of the wind. Finally Itachi lunged. Gaara braced himself.

As their lips met, Itachi threw his lover to the ground, hungrily devouring that of which he had been deprived while cooped up in the Akatsuki hideout. Gaara allowed Itachi's tongue to enter his mouth, mapping it out as he had so many times before. How he had missed his S-class lover.

Itachi quickly undid the high collar of Gaara's coat so that he could have access to the pale neck. As his lips slid from Gaara's lips to his throat, the Kazekage began fumbling with the clasps on Itachi's coat. The sand around them flared up, lifting the cloak from Itachi's shoulders. Gaara moaned as his lover pulled his Kazekage coat away, revealing creamy skin pulled taut over strong muscles.

"Itachi, ah…!"

"Gaara…"

Itachi's talented tongue swirled around Gaara's belly button, bringing the Kazekage into a whirlwind of feeling.

"Itachi…"

"Hmmm?"

"My turn."

"Wha…?"

Before Itachi could react, he was on his back, held there by sand. Gaara smirked as he straddled his lover, quickly relieving him of his mesh shirt.

"Now we're even."

He leaned down and kissed Itachi passionately, letting his hands do the talking.

The ruined sand castle lay a few feet away, forgotten in the passion of its maker and its destroyer.


	10. Not Youthful

**Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue**

**Yoru: Wow, we're on number 10!**

**Kuronue: This one is for OMG LEE.**

**Yoru: It's possibly the most random pairing I've gotten so far…****also, super-short, sorry. ****Heh ****heh****…it just worked to end it like that.**** Feel free to request another one.**

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Ten: Kankarou x Lee – Not Youthful**

* * *

"And I say that you have no youth!"

"And I said shut up!" Kankarou snapped at his adversary. Rock Lee struck a pose, his strangely-shaped mouth in a large smile.

"Make me, un-youthful cur!"

Kankarou snarled and leaped on Lee, covering that stupid mouth with a kiss and invading the large cavern with a hungry tongue. By the time he finished, Lee was swirly-eyed and almost unconscious with giddiness.

"Perhaps you have some youth in you after all."


	11. Still So Foolish

**Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue**

**Yoru: This one is for ****watashi ****namae ****wa ****kreesten-chan**** (that's a mouthful…)**

**Kuronue: I do believe this is the first fairly canon one that's popped up.**

**Yoru: ****Woot****! And of course I'll do Itachi x Sasuke. I did one about Minato and Naruto…**

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Eleven: Itachi x Sasuke – ****Still So Foolish**_

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Such beauty is not to be wasted, _I think as I approach my prey. He sits facing away from me, staring out at the city. He's wandered too far from home on this dark Halloween night, the poor little lamb. I've been spying on him since he entered my territory. 

I giggle to myself. He looks a bit old for trick-or-treating.

Long raven hair frames a pale, beautiful face. His eyes are coal black, much like mine had been before I gave in to the darkness. In fact, he looks kind of familiar…but I digress. The black top he wears hugs his lovely form, accenting everything just right. I long to bury my teeth in that long, graceful neck…so close…

I lunge.

I give him credit for strength. He whips around and grabs my wrists, pinning me to the ground before I can blink. His eyes flash crimson, and I realize I've attacked one of my own kind.

A big no-no, especially when said member of own kind is clearly stronger than I.

"You charge blindly, little one," he says quietly, eyes settling on crimson. My own red orbs widen.

"Little one? I ought to teach you some manners!" I growl, hiding my fear with false bravado.

"I should like to see you try. Though, to be sure, attacking me gives you merit for bravery."

"You were hiding your scent and you know it, you bastard!" I snap at his throat with my sharp fangs, hoping to catch him off guard. He only smirks as my jaws fall short.

"Continue to fight me, little one, and I will make your punishment so much worse."

"Punishment for what? You didn't let me know you were a vampire!"

"Oh, not for that. Simply for attacking me, especially on this night of nights." He leans down and gives my neck a sharp nip. I yelp, starting to fight his hold on my wrists.

"Get off of me, bastard!"

"You deserve this. And besides, aren't we vampires sensual creatures?" His lips move to my collarbone, his tongue runs over the jutting bone.

"I just wanted food! I thought you were human!" Panic sets in as he forces my wrists above my head, where he holds them with one hand. His free hand starts unbuttoning my shirt.

"You were mistaken."

"Let me go! Stop! Please!" I buck and writhe as his mouth descends onto my chest, licking and nibbling his way down.

"What's your name, little one?" he asks, as though about the weather.

"If I tell you, will you stop?"

"Perhaps." He sits up, at least, though he stills holds me down.

"Sasuke." I pull at the hold on my wrists, and he releases them, though he continues to sit on me.

"I am Itachi."

"I don't really care," I snap sulkily. He chuckles a bit at that.

"Well, little Sasuke, I suppose I can let you go this time."

"I would appreciate that."

He leans close again, that damned smirk still on his face.

"You're still so foolish, little brother."

Before I can react, his lips are pressed to mine.

Almost as soon as I realize what happened, he is gone.


	12. Kishes and Posishuns

**Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue**

**Yoru: This one is not for a reviewer. It's for my friend Christina, who decided she wanted one…**

**Kuronue: As a joke…**

**Yoru: Yeah, I don't think she really believes I can do this one. I'll show her! YOU READING, YOU JERK?!? (Kidding. You know I love you.)**

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Twelve: Jiraiya x Kakashi ****– Kishes and Posi-shuns**

* * *

"And then, I says, says, yesh, that she should try to be in thish posi-shun."

Jiraiya threw his head back and laughed as Kakashi tried to reenact the "posi-shun" and ended up on his face.

"Kakashi, you makes me giggle," he slurred, climbing off of his barstool to try and help Kakashi to his feet.

Together they stumbled out of the bar, arms over each others' shoulders. They were promptly soaked by cold rain. Jiraiya growled and swiped at the raindrops.

"Methinks we should goes to mah house. Ish closer…" he muttered. Kakashi nodded, trying unsuccessfully to wipe the rain from his face.

They trundled off, reaching Jiraiya's house in a matter of minutes. Once inside, Kakashi promptly invaded the couch and pulled out Icha Icha Paradise.

"Wanna looksie?" he asked Jiraiya, who greedily sat down beside him and perused the pages. Both being completely hammered, they could really only look at the pictures.

"Ah wonders…" Jiraiya said after a bit. Kakashi glanced up.

"You wonders what?"

"Ah wonders, if a woman kishes likes that, how does a man kish?"

Kakashi pondered for a moment, first over the meaning of the word "kish" (he figured out Jiraiya meant "kiss") and then over the question.

"Well, we boths men. Lesh find out how men kish." Kakashi pressed his lips to Jiraiya's without further ado, practically climbing on top of the much older man. Jiraiya swayed for a moment, then wrapped his arms around Kakashi's waist and pulled him closer, delving into the Copy Ninja's mouth.

They broke away, and Jiraiya touched his lips thoughtfully.

"Ish just like woman kish."

"Yeps." Kakashi went back to his book. Jiraiya continued to think.

"How does two men have sex?" he asked no one in particular.

"Ask Naruto and Sasuke," Kakashi said immediately. Jiraiya eyed him.

"They not…"

"They is. They thinks I can't hear thems at night on mis-shuns." Kakashi put his book down and made a face, "All 'Oh Naruto!' and 'God, Sasuke!' and ish really kinda grosh 'cuz they both still kid-ses."

"Fifteen ain't kid-ses."

"Yesh it ish."

"We ain't kid-ses. Would it be grosh for ush?"

"Nah."

Silence reigned for a while.

"Do the kid-ses likes it?"

"I thinks sho. They keeps doing it."

"We should tries it."

"You wouldn't asks if you wasn't shit-faced."

"Ya never knows." Jiraiya picked up Kakashi, who shrugged, and carried him into the bedroom.

**

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The Next Morning**

* * *

Kakashi woke up with a splitting headache.

"Yeah, training out of the question today," he muttered. He looked around blearily.

"I agree." Jiraiya sat up, rubbing his head. Kakashi's eyes nearly bugged out of his head. Jiraiya was naked.

So was he.

"Jiraiya, did we…?"

"Looks that way."

"You know I like women."

"Me too."

Silence.

"I should be panicking." Kakashi pulled the sheets up closer to his chest.

"Me too."

"Must be the hangover."

"Gotta be."

More silence.

"Wanna do it again?" Jiraiya asked.

"What the hell."


	13. What Else is Orange?

**Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue**

**Yoru: This one is for Animegrl123, who requested the FIRST canon pairing…unless you count Itachi x Sasuke.**

**Kuronue: SHOCK**

**Yoru: ****Sooooo****…now my job is making it unique. ****Mwahahaha****…can do****…(****flexes fingers – keyboard shakes in fear)**

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Thirteen: Naruto x Sasuke – What Else is Orange?**

* * *

"Naruto, there's something I've been meaning to ask you since we met, but haven't felt comfortable asking until now."

Naruto waited with bated breath. Was this what he had been waiting for? Was the famed, gorgeous, ever-popular Uchiha Sasuke going to ask him out?

"Ask away, Sasuke."

"Why in the hell do you wear an orange jumpsuit?"

Naruto blinked. That was not what he wanted. Sighing inwardly, he shrugged.

"I like it."

"It makes you look like a pumpkin. Ninjas don't look like pumpkins."

Naruto's temper started to flare. Why did he love this guy again?

"Well, why do you have a lollipop on your back? It makes you look three years old!"

Sasuke glared at him, "You don't have to get all defensive."

"You said I looked like a pumpkin!"

"Okay, I'll rephrase. You look like a tabby cat."

Naruto pounced on Sasuke, expecting to pin him to the floor. However, Sasuke easily flipped him over and pinned him.

"And pounce like one too."

"I concede that it's better than pumpkin." Naruto tried to hide his blush as Sasuke's face leaned in towards his, the tips of raven hair brushing his cheeks.

"And cuter."

As Sasuke's lips met Naruto's, the fox decided that orange was his new favorite color.


	14. Language of Love

**Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue**

**Yoru: Wow, this fic slipped right under my radar...but it's another non-canon! For carmeldansem234.**

**Kuronue: Very, very non-canon.**

**Yoru: Insanely non-canon. Here we go!**

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Fourteen: Hidan x Naruto - Language of Love

* * *

Hidan burst into the Akatsuki hideout, practically singing with joy.

"Kakuzu! Kakuzu! My pretty little tentacle-laden partner, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"

"Hidan, if you don't stop yelling, I'm going to kill you." Kakuzu came down the stairs, glaring at his overly happy and foulmouthed partner.

"You can't, but I digress. I, the great, Hidan, have found a fucking brilliant way to capture that Jashin-damned Kyuubi." Hidan held aloft his prize. Kakuzu raised an eyebrow.

"You plan to do what with that?"

"You'll see, my fucked-up partner, you'll see."

"I am not fucked up."

"If it helps you sleep at night to tell yourself that."

* * *

Hidan waited behind a conveniently placed bush for Naruto to appear. He heard his prey humming tunelessly not far off.

_Jashin-sama, give me strength._

He tossed one end of his newest weapon outside the bush, keeping himself concealed.

"STRING!!" Naruto leaped on the end of the red string, pulled from Hidan's Akatsuki cloak. He batted at it, squealing in easy amusement.

_Too easy._ Hidan pulled gently on the string, bringing Naruto a bit closer as the boy continued to chase it. The Akatsuki laughed softly, pulling a little more and readying the chakra-enforced bag he had brought to trap the Kyuubi.

Naruto batted one more time, and then the bag flew over his head and all he saw was darkness.

Hidan laughed menacingly as he hefted the boy-in-a-bag over his shoulder.

"I got the fucking Kyuubi! Not even Itachi's as cool as me! Hell yes!"

"Let me go, you big jerk!" Naruto yelled, muffled by the bag.

"Ha, fuck no! I caught you, you're mine!"

"I said, let me go!" Naruto kicked and fought within the bag, but Hidan just started walking. He knew he wouldn't make the base before sundown, but he could just tie the prisoner up when he stopped for the night.

**

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**

Later That Night

* * *

"Mmmf mgh mgbrgh!" Naruto shouted through his gag. Hidan had tied him securely and mockingly with chakra-enforced string.

"Mhm. I understand perfectly. You're hungry." Hidan laughed at his own stupid joke and started to prepare dinner.

He glanced over at Naruto to be attacked by big blue puppy eyes.

He stared for a minute, transfixed by the cuteness.

"Not even fucking fair," he muttered as he took out the gag. Naruto licked his lips.

"Good to know that works."

"I'm not untying you."

"Let me go, you bastard."

Hidan gave him a sharp rap to the back of the head, "You're too young for your mouth to be that fucking filthy."

"Oh yeah? Well you, my fugly friend, are a..."

Hidan sat, transfixed by the stream of words coming from his prisoner's mouth. A boy that young shouldn't even KNOW half of those yet...

As he listened to the veritable flood of inappropriate language, he started to feel a stirring in his nether regions. This boy could well be his soulmate...

"Is that a kunai in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" Naruto asked suddenly, his eyes wide.Hidan glanced down and blushed.

"I can't help it, dammit. You were speaking my preferred language of love and fucking."

Naruto's eyes bugged even wider, "Cursing?"

Hidan shrugged and busied himself with the cooking.

"Oh, no, you're not hiding behind the cooking pot. What kind of freak are you?"

"An immortal, easily annoyed freak who's abnout to shove this spoon up your ass if you don't fucking shut up."

"Uh-huh, that's totally not what you WANT to shove up my ass?"

There was a long, pregnant silence.

"Kid, are you fucking coming on to me?"

"Are you fucking liking it?"

Hidan blushed deep crimson.

"You do like it!"

"...Jashin-dammit."


	15. On Uchihacest

**Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue.**

**Yoru: This one is for Chaose Sabaku, who didn't actually read which genre this was supposed to be. However, after a few PMs, I decided to write it anyway. because she rocks (please be a girl or I'll look really silly...)!**

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Fifteen: Axel x Zexion (yes, you read that correctly) - On Uchihacest

* * *

Axel eyed the computer screen in front of him.

"So, people actually pair Sasuke and Itachi up in stories and pictures? Even though they're brothers?"

"That would be the fifteenth time you've asked that question, Axel. The evidence is before you," Zexion growled as he was interrupted from his reading for, as he said, the fifteenth time.

"I know, but it still shocks me."

"I noticed."

"I mean, brothers! Yeah, they can't reproduce, but it's still family!"

Zexion slammed his book shut, "But as you say, they can't reproduce and make mutant children. So who cares?"

"That'd be like...like...Sephiroth and Cloud getting together!"

"They ARE together."

Axel clutched his hair.

"Axel, this cannot all be news to you."

"They're all GUYS!"

"The term is yaoi." Zexion contemplated whether shoving his book up Axel's left nostril would ruin the binding.

"How do you know all this?"

Zexion started to fidget.

"You don't look at this stuff, do you?"

More fidgeting.

"You don't READ this stuff...?"

FIDGET.

"You don't ENGAGE in such activities?"

A veritable roar of fidgeting followed this question.

"WHO EXACTLY DO YOU ENGAGE IN THEM WITH?!" Axel yelled. Zexion flinched.

"...oncewithRoxasanothertimewithMarluxiaandonemorewithLuxordbutIsweartheydidn'tmeananythingwewerejustexperimenting..."

"EXPERIMENTING?! YOU WERE EXPERIMENTING WITH THIS YAOI STUFF WITH SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME?!"

"I said it didn't mean any--what?" Zexion blinked. Axel was standing there with a hand clapped over his mouth.

"I mean, um..."

"You want to yaoi with me?"

"That is to say, erm..."Axel stammered. Zexion used a portal and teleported right in front of Axel. Smirking, he planted a wet kiss right on the pyromaniac's lips.

"Yaoi is awfully fun, and if it were with you it could even mean something."

"So you're saying those brothers are on to something."

:"Indeed."

"Awesome." Axel scooped Zexion into his arms and skipped off to his room.

Meanwhile, Sasuke and Itachi's snogging session was interrupted by their simultaneous sneezing.

"What did that mean?" Sasuke asked. Itachi stared around impassively.

"I think someone was just inspired by us."

"How do you know?"

Itachi allowed a ghost of a smile to flit across his face.

"I just do."

**

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Author's Note: I have two more requests sitting neglected in my Inbox. I have not forgotten them, and I will get them up before I do any more! Promise! I'm just too tired tonight...soon though!


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